


autumn hazel and poison

by rischaa



Series: expeditions thru universes [jarchie] [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Backstory, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, M/M, Pining, soulmate-identifying colors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10052969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rischaa/pseuds/rischaa
Summary: The world had a thing for making him suffer quite a lot, but he guesses he deserves it.-a.k.a the color soulmate! au where jughead suffers and archie is a tad bit way too clueless + a side of beronica





	

**Author's Note:**

> hii~ i just hope you like this fic i spent a few hours per day on. i hope you like the fact that it's long and (probably good? your opinion honestly.) also inspired by the fact that everything seems so much better with them being friends (colors, basically) and when they're not (nothing but black and white). dunno if that makes sense. 
> 
> +the fact that jughead is asexual is implied 
> 
> also, thanks for the support from my friend, zahra  
> -  
> unbeta'd // pls enjoy~

**_“Maybe soulmates are just two ordinary people who are too stubborn to let the world pull them apart.”_ **

**_-_ _Daily Poem #1 by Nick A West_ **

* * *

` _the soulmate! au where when you meet your soulmate, your black and white world becomes colorful to signify how much better it is with them; and if the bond is partially broken, one of them loses color and it only comes back when they are on equal terms and have a strong bond`_

* * *

He hasn’t seen color for a while, it’s been months since he has anyways. He remembers them being so bright and eye catching. He remembers the first colors he sees and it’s a dark fusion of red and orange, a ginger like color. Then it clashes with the surprising smooth and reckless flecks of hazel. It’s a beautiful mix and he’s been entranced by it for so long. Even now, it’s the only thing that reminds him that before this whole mess, there was in fact color in his life. That there was time when he was not Forsythe Pendleton Jones the Third but _Jughead Jones._  

He barely remembers the color of the cloudy evergreen trees nearby Sweetwater River. He knows they’re supposedly a color of dark jungle green but he sees them dripping away. They fuse and fully become the dull colors of black and white. He dreams of colors and he misses them. But, he knows that he’ll never get them back. The statistics of the colors ever coming back was highly unlikely.

Jughead hates how lust stricken the jocks were and the bitches are in their school. Then there were the averages who were in the cycle of love and heartbreak. Then there were those who were looking for their soulmate, some even obsessed finding them. He was never fond of the idea of having fate decide everything for him. Fate and destiny were definitely in cahoots to make him suffer in every way possible- Jellybean wasn’t here and his father was… a different matter. And then they decided to drop in an Andrews into the mix of terrible happenings.

He knew that red and black fusing together was poison to each other but somehow, the blues and the yellows balanced it out for them. Until one of them lost their control and they fused into an ugly black of unruly poison to each other. He makes it out alive, unable to see any colors and lost the rope they both held onto. Now, they held on the remaining threads of _that_ rope.

“It’s going to be fine,” he sighs and whispers another lie to himself; before slipping walking down the hallway of blurred streaks of whites, greys, and deep blacks reminding him that he was nothing but a walking bomb of pain.

* * *

Archie Andrews was a beauty made of honey and rays of sunshine. He had the atmosphere of autumn around him and he was every color that appeared that time of the season. Jughead thinks he’s the calm before the storm, just like fall appeared before the hasty blizzards of cold winters.

“Hey, Jug.”

Jughead refuses to look away from the bright screen of his Macbook he’s been trying to add something to for hours now.

“Got you someth- “ 

“Don’t want it, Archie.”

“Okay, then.”

It’s when the tense silence settles so quickly that it seems so natural for them. He looks up from his screen and finds that Archie is just sitting there looking at the booth’s table. Archie looks tense and it feels as if he has something to say out loud but he can’t get them out. They’re stuck in the middle of his throat and Jughead knows because he’s known Archie way too long not to know his actions so well.

“Veronica, no! Leave me alone, please!”

Jughead turns his head quickly to the direction of the desperate voice of Betty. Archie stands up, his fingertips never leaving the table’s surface. He watches Archie’s face stiffen when Betty shoves Veronica’s grip on her wrist. Betty looked even more down with the colors surrounding her. The mood of the place was definitely dropping cold and he was almost sure that he was the only one who saw it that way.

“Betty! Listen, the world was so dark and black and I hated that. People used to hate me for being so cold and criticized me for not having a soulmate. Now- now, I have you. But, you just won’t accept it!” Veronica’s tone was loud yet gentle just for the blonde, “One moment, I see color and the next? It’s gone. Betty…”

Betty finally looks at Veronica with a sad smile but it almost seems reassuring. Jughead’s not sure.

“I’m not who you’re looking for. I don’t even know myself if you are what I’m looking for either. So, please, stop this nonsense,” she starts walking back to the entrance and leaves. Veronica doesn’t move from her position but minutes later, she sits in their booth.

She suddenly seems like a rude intruder, but Archie seemed to think otherwise.

“I can’t believe her, damn it!” She hits the table with a great amount of strength and the salt and pepper bottles almost fall over. He notices Archie save them before they spill.

“Soulmates, right?”

“You met yours, Jughead?”

He smiles and it’s gone in a flash and says nonchalantly, “Yeah, I have.”

“Did he like, uhm, ah, never mind,” Veronica looked ashamed of even asking.

“Whoa- it isn’t like he’s dead. Just the connection,” he pauses and take a deep breath; he feels Archie’s eyes set on him, “I woke up in the morning and I only see specks of certain colors. Then a few moments, it’s just all gone. I, ha, “Jughead laughs at the realization, “-don’t even think he even knew we were soulmates. That’s funny.”

“Jughead…” Archie says his name with caution and it’s alarming. He hasn’t heard that tone for so long.

“Yeah?”

“I… Jug- ah, forget it. I’ll just leave,” Jughead notices Archie feels uncomfortable with the topic.

He watches Veronica Lodge slip along with him. Even though the seats are now empty, it feels suffocating. He doesn’t leave until midnight- he walks out and sleeps by the wall of an abandoned building. It’s a cold night and all that feels warm is the color of his hazel eyes.

It’s a fading color of dark hazel- almost, but enough to send him to a dreamless state of sleep. 

* * *

“I’m fine. It’s going to be fine,” he breathes as he looks at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t have to say anything again to himself. It was just another mantra he repeated in his mind to get his shit together. He had to get his breaths even and slow.

_One and breathe. Two, breathe. Focus on the breathing. And, three- breathe again. repeat._

He opens the door to the loud hallways and hits shoulders (or sides since he was inevitably lacking on the height department) with Reggie and his stupid personality.

“If it isn’t the murderer of Jason, little ol’ Jughead. I wonder what you were doing here all _alone,_ ” he says it carefully, each word meant to hurt him but he doesn’t take it. Instead, he stands there and it’s only the spur of the moment when he mumbles it.

“I don’t know Reggie,” he smiles at him and sees the annoyance on Reggie’s face, “But I guess I’d rather be alone out here than with an asshole like you.”

When Reggie takes a step forward, he knows. He knows he hates him for how he was just another less pebble in Riverdale that didn't deserve living at all. But he doesn't need Reggie to tell him that- he has himself to do that with constant screaming of his inner voice  A clash- it's suffocating. He wants to leave so bad and it's not Reggie that makes him want to leave. He’s been here for too long gathering his thoughts. Too lost in trying to keep it together. But he had to- he _just_ had to or he really wouldn't be collected or even a functional human being.

Then it finally comes, the thing that Jughead expects as an outcome for his stupid sarcastic comments.

He’s grabbed and shoved inside the bathroom once again. His back hits the wall hard and he stays there, refusing to move. He can feel the harsh tiles' edges poking his back. He refuses to look at Reggie Jughead knows what happens when he would try to fight back and that wasn’t a beauty to be found. There’s a right hook landed on his cheek and all he hopes is that it doesn’t leave a bruise for anyone like Betty or Archie to fawn over.

But then again, why would either of them care when they had other problems to take care of?

_One and breathe. Two, brea-_

“Won’t fight back, huh?”

_No thanks. I’d rather not._

It hangs in the air with that weak smirk that appears on his face subconsciously. Jughead gets another hit landing on his chest. It’s a blur now, whatever’s happening. He’s being held by the shirt, his feet almost leaving the ground. Reggie’s saying something but it’s merely a jumble of words tumbling over each other. They’re hostile and loud. Before he tries to even decipher what Reggie had just said, he’s thrown towards the wall again.

_Four? Yeah, brea- wait, no. One, breathe._

It’s so similar to three years ago. He remembers the dark and how he’s blamed for his mom and Jellybean leaving. Jughead can still picture the red and blue bruises formed overnight; and how he tried not to wince the next day. His chest wells up when he remembers Archie say to him-

_“I’ll protect you. Always. I’m never leaving your side Jughead.”_

He doesn’t know why thirteen-year-old Archie would say so; he hasn’t even told him of the night before or what happens the days later. He doesn’t tell him that he’s thrown like sticks and stones while people watch it happen in broad luminescent light. He doesn’t tell Archie that it doesn’t really hurt; not as much when he sees Jellybean leave, her hand clasped tightly into their mother’s hand. He doesn’t tell him many things yet somehow- somehow, Archie had always managed to bring a little bit of color back to his life.

_One, breathe. Two, breathe. Focus. One- no. No, breathe, come on!_

Archie Andrews was a liar saying he’d never leave his side, but then again; he somehow brings himself to brighten his life even though for a split second.

It happens again; Archie saving him from Reggie for the second time this school year.

_Can’t breathe._

He opens his eyes to see the pretty fusion of dark ginger hair clash with deep hazel eyes and his chapped pink lips. It flickers a little bit; switching from black and white to color. It glitches like those moments when you can’t get the right frequency on the radio station; or when you’re on a nonexistent channel on the television and it’s all grey with weird cyans and magentas.

_Still can’t breathe._

Jughead sees Archie’s mouth moving- he lip reads him saying his name. His face blurs out. He doesn’t count his breaths. It’s too fast now and everything is fading, but the image of hazel eyes and dark red-orange hair is burnt to the back of his mind. It doesn’t matter now. Everything is suffocating and his eyes are drooping down low. 

_I… can’t- b-breathe. Crash._

It switches back to black and white right before the previously colored blur turns into complete darkness.

* * *

He wakes to a sudden flash of bright colors only for it to flicker into a very morose palette of monochromatic colors once again. He wants to laugh at the world, but he also feels the need to break down so bad. But he holds it together because when his eyes finally focus on the surroundings, he notices where he is. He’s laid on the bed of Archie and there was mess of the first aid kit nearby. 

Jughead gets out of the bed only for him to see that Archie was sitting quite uncomfortably on the floor, his head resting on the mattress with drool dripping by his lips. His hair was a muss of dark grey with highlights of black where the white light from his window was being casted upon him. He watches him for a minute and smiles.

The color flickers, again. Jughead takes his eyes off Archie. Instead, he sets them on a bunch of worn down photos set up on his wall by his bed. The little glow in the dark stars were still there too from when they were seven. He remembers when they went to the local dollar store and bought bags of glow in the dark stars from their chore allowance. Jughead remembers when he was given a bag and instead of sticking them on his walls, he stuck them on the cover of his notebooks.

When Archie sees them on his notebook, he doesn’t say anything but smile. And that smile is everything to Jughead; it’s bright and beautiful. It makes him feel things and he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t understand how when he sees Archie, every color he sees is more high definition. It’s when he has Fred Andrews explain it to him simple and clear. You only see colors when your soulmate meet and when the bond is broken, you don’t. He remembers wondering what it’d be like to have a black and white world.

 _He hates it._ It’s dark and it reminds him of every bad memory he has of every person acquainted with him. Every mistake he’s made and every stupid sardonic comment he’s said to offend people. Every memory he has of the beatings and every memory he has when he tries to get Archie back with little success.

But looking at these pictures, these stars, he smiles for once and there’s a sudden glimmer of a beige wall with lightly tinted photos of black, blue, red and grass green. Then it’s gone, again. It’s tiring now and he doesn’t understand how it’s happening.

He can feel Veronica’s pain of trying to understand this stupid soulmate color situation. It was a fucked-up system, honestly, that is until you find the person. The world had a penchant for something like that and he sighs, exasperated at the idea.

_Still a fucked-up system though._

“Jug?”

He turns to see Archie getting up his feet and Jughead takes a deep breath. He’s a proper mess and he somehow still looks beautiful. The world surrounding them was so empty and worthless but then there’s Archie. He has these eyes that calm your being and a voice that has this soothing tone when he speaks that makes him want to fall asleep next to him.

But he’s never realized who brought the color to his world in the first place. And that is what breaks Jughead’s very being.

“Hey, Arch?”

Jughead watches his eyes light up and that’s when he realizes that he’s just used his nickname. One that he hasn’t said for months. There’s sparks, quite literally. His world lights up a little bit and it’s sudden. Archie urges him to continue and he sees him with a mix of black and whites with the blue and gold of his jacket.

“Thanks, but I can fight my own fights.”

He’s mesmerized by Archie. Archie’s head tilts a tad bit to the side; and he’s confused and hurt. He turns away from the sight of Archie and everything else. He doesn’t want to talk to him now. Maybe later. Yeah, that sounded like a great idea.

Except it wasn’t.

* * *

“Hey there, Jughead. Mind if I sit here?” 

“Honestly, you don’t have to ask.”

Jughead doesn’t have to look at who the person sitting next to him is. It’s smart ol’ Betty Cooper who used to have a huge crush on Archie. She was the girl next door and was usually the brains out of the three of them. She was the girl with complications with her mother but no one needed to talk about that. She was the girl who was soulmates Veronica and was confused at every situation.

Betty was a very complicated person. More or less, almost like every person on Riverdale.

“How’s Veronica?” It’s a touchy subject, Jughead knows but he takes the risk. He wants to know if this system actually works. This stupid system making them suffer and drown in pain when all they see is black and white.

“She’s- I’ve been- No, we’ve been-ah, talking. Getting it sorted out,” he looks at her now; she’s just a figure who’s obviously blushing, her cheeks a color of a darker grey than her skin color. She’s pretty he guesses, but not _‘Archie’_ pretty. He shoves the thought of Archie out of his mind.

“Is it strong enough though? Your bond?” he doesn’t mean to say it sarcastically as if he’s mocking their relationship. He sees that Betty ignores his tone of the question and she smiles and looks at the white sun starting to fall and disappear along with the solemn sky.

“It’s very bright. I can see why Archie was so proud he could see all this back then,” she looks at him and her lips part to say something, “You see the colors right?” 

“You know me so well, Betty,” he smirks.

“Does Archie know? About it, I mean,” Jughead notices her gentle concern, her voice was almost like a wisp of air, a simple whisper.

“He’ll figure it out. Maybe.”

Betty laughs. He smiles slightly.

* * *

They walk all the way to Pop’s and it’s nothing but lonely when Betty finds Veronica there talking with her mom. He figured he’d sit in his usual place. Jughead sits there and watches as the white neon signs light up. He remembers them to be somewhat of a cherry red and a deep green- well, he’s kind of forgotten, but he knows it’s a warm red inside the diner. 

Jughead sits there and watches Veronica and Betty talk and pause at awkward moments then they laugh again. He won’t admit it loud but it made him feel like the world was mocking him.  Telling him that he didn’t deserve something like that and it shoved it right to his face. Maybe he doesn’t, after all.

The world had a thing for making him suffer quite a lot, but he guesses he deserves it.

He’s hungry and he’s a god damn emotional sixteen-year-old. He needs food and it makes it even worse that he can smell the grease and salt of the burgers and fries that was being made. He closes his eyes and thinks of Jellybean, Jughead opens his eyes wide and sits upright when he finds a platter of Pop’s burger and fries set on his table. He looks at the person sitting across him. He’s finally gotten one of his promises right. That’s one burger off the list.

He eats it. Nobody talks. The looks are loud enough to be spoken. He finishes.

“Sorry.”

Archie’s hands are fidgeting. Jughead feels like mocking Archie for saying the apology again. He doesn’t even have to say sorry. He’s been saying sorry way too much nowadays. It was like his go-to answer to everything even though it wasn’t his fault.

“Stop saying that.”

Archie sighs and Jughead finally notices the broken look in his eyes along with the eye bags settling under his beautiful eyes. He looks at him biting his lips and looking somewhere where he wouldn’t be able to see him. He’s nervous, so goddamn anxious too; what with that left leg moving up and down.

“It’s just I keep fucking up and I’m oblivious so sor- “

“Say it one more time and I will strangle you,” he stares at him intently and he’s still not looking at him.

“I can’t even spend time with you properly and every time I try to find you, you’re not there. I miss you.”

“You know if you said that with more meaning, maybe I’d believe it,” Jughead slips on the tone, he doesn’t really mean it, but it’s pent up from the inside. He had to say it. Archie was always like this but he liked him anyway, by his side more preferably. Jughead watches Archie say nothing. It’s like it’s almost normal to him and it scares him that he’s losing Archie.

“Hey, I never told you about when I thought I lost my soulmate right?”

Jughead looks at him nonchalantly and he sees everything flicker into lively color then disappear back into nothing. He accepts it and smiles to himself weakly.

Archie finally looks at him and Jughead hides the fact that he’s looking back right into his eyes imagining the hazel within them.

“I remember just sitting there in the middle of my room playing music with my eyes closed and when I opened my eyes? It was black and white. I looked around and everything was so dull and then I panicked. I thought I was never getting the color back,” his voice almost cracks, “I thought something happened bad to them but-” Jughead feels the butterflies try to escape as he sees Archie smile so sweetly at something, “-when I went to school the next day, I was just scanning through the crowd and I saw it. I saw the colors come back and I dunno. They’re here, Jug. I thought I lost them but they’re here and I really wanna meet them.”

It’s that shy smile and the way he runs his hair subconsciously that makes Jughead want to hate the world for making him his soulmate. For making him want him and stay. For making him the one who made everything brighter and better. Jughead feels his heart break right when color starts dripping in like saturated sunlight like an illusion. He wishes for it to stay longer than a minute, just for him to see the colors in Archie. For him to see the light. It’s dark again.

“I can’t see them,” Jughead says bluntly.

“Do you know who they are?”

He doesn’t smile and says it like a broken record, “Yeah.” He wants to continue the phrase and say, _‘It’s you, you idiot.’_

“Aren’t you ever going to tell them?”

“They’ll figure it out. Maybe. That is if they realized that the world doesn’t always revolve around them,” he looks right through him and smirks, “If only you realized that.”

He knows Archie won’t get it if he doesn’t imply it. He has to tell him, but he’s frightened if he figures it out. What after the realization? What happens to them next? The thought of Archie laughing at the very idea enters his mind and crashes fear unto his heart, squeezing out all optimism.

“What are yo- “

Jughead doesn’t want to hear it so he leaves and runs. He runs as far as his legs can take him. He closes his eyes and hears the whooshing wind pass by his ears. It feels free; and it feels like the way they ran around the woods. The way he had to help themselves up when they fell down and the way they laughed like it was nothing. And the small cuts they had on their hands and arms were nothing but simple childhood memories etched onto skin.

“Jughead!”

Damn it! Of course, being the Jughead he was, he wasn’t as fit or as fast as Archie at all. In fact, he was slow as hell. He had to run away, but his feet were glued to the asphalt ground. Archie has holding his arms now and he has quite a tight grip. All he could do was sigh loudly and look defeated.

“Jughead, it’s you, isn’t it?” he says it like he’s treading on water, soft yet it spoke volumes.

“Can’t answer that.”

“When I lost the ability to see colors, it was around the time we fought. You lost them, too didn’t you?” Archie’s voice gets louder, Jughead wants to say ‘yes’ but he can’t; it’s wedged in his throat, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh, we’re talking about this now?”

“Yes, Jughead. _Why didn’t you tell me?!_ ”

“Because you were supposed to figure it out! But obviously, you were so engrossed with losing Betty that you almost lost me!” Jughead looks at him accusingly, seething with pent up anger, “I bore the pain of seeing you so confused right in front of me. It hurt; and having this world? It’s a painful reminder that the world hates me and I lose everyone I care about! I’m fucking poison!”

“Jughead, listen I’m- “

“No! You listen here, why can’t you just see that the person you were looking for was right here next to you the entire time? I was right here and yet you acted like I was not one of the options. Yet, I couldn’t find myself to be attracted to anyone else but you- it was like a curse,” it’s finally out; all those things he wanted to say right to his face. He knows this is too much for the both of them; they’re both broken in every way possible. His eyes glance at Archie.

A few moments of silence pass when Archie asks, “Can I kiss you?”

_"What?"_

He doesn’t have any time to form any thoughts because all of a sudden, there are a pair of lips on his and they’re kissing him. It’s not the first time he’s been kissed, but this kiss is different. They just stand there, their problems left hanging and they’re kissing. It feels so cliché; and Archie knows he hates cliché. But they’re standing there, two boys kissing and it feels right for some reason. 

They pull away; it’s not a really functional kiss.

“That just happened.”

_Yes, it did, idiot. You just kissed me. How oblivious can you get?_

Archie’s eyes are a beautiful hazel, his pupil black almost blending in with the complete darkness of the hazel. His freckles are like stars on his face meant to be connected and there’s so many of them. Wisps of Archie’s pretty ginger hair falls by the side of his eyes. The background has blurred out deep green trees and the sky was painted with streaks of dark orange and yellow and violets.

“I think I’ve always liked you,” Archie breathes with this giddy look on his face as he stares at Jughead which turns into a simple smile, “You probably don’t care, but you mean so much to me. I was lost.”

“You’re a terrible kisser-” he laughs, “-and _cliché,”_ he says the word with disgust.

“Your eyes are like the ocean. They’re so soothing, I never really- “

_Arch, you talk way too much._

Jughead kisses him and the color bursts into even more vivid definition, the colors sharper than ever. He places his hand on Archie’s arm for a steady grip and he kisses him and his pretty lips. They move in sync and he realizes that Archie’s going slow. For _him._ It’s not intense and there aren’t really sparks; it just feels natural. It’s just the simple pressing of their lips against each other. Archie pulls away just a few inches away. Jughead feels him breathing down his face; it’s warm.

He remembers Archie’s words, _“I think I’ve always liked you.”_ It causes his heart to go aflutter and it feels weird for someone who usually didn’t feel like this for others. It feels okay, he guesses, the kisses.

“This is too close,” Jughead says when he’s pulled closer, “Please tell me you’re not going to say anything cliché.”

“Are we going to be alright?” he feels Archie sigh seriously if that even was possible, “-like this… I mean. I want to try this out but I-you? Uh, Jug?”

“I’ve waited for you this entire time and you’re asking me?” Jughead tries to escape from the very tight embrace; he smells like cinnamon and petrichor, “What do you suppose?”

They’re apart now, but Archie kisses his forehead and murmurs a small, “Yes.”

Jughead watches he sunset blend in so well with the night and it’s quite beautiful.

_Definitely beautiful._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked that and leave a kudo or comment if you did~  
> -  
> hmu on mah [ tumblr](https://chrischaa.tumblr.com/)  
> if ya wanna scream about jarchie or beronica or anything else basically


End file.
